The echo of a Si Dios Quiere (If God Wills)
The origins of the expression Si Dios quiere (If God wills) are obviously religiously based; however, it is a mystery how this statement managed to spread itself across religions. In Islamic views and in the Arabic language the expression, In ša Allāh, means that hopefully things will happen and literally translates as, If God wills. How it reached Christianity, I am not sure of but given my own experiences, I know that it is used in the U.S, Mexico and here in Colombia. The transcontinental voyage of the expression could have piggybacked itself on the spread of Christianity and managed to penetrate cultures and peoples via the colonization of the Americas. It seems, however, that this expression successfully merged into the lexicon of every day life without necessarily loosing its religious undertone. Its fundamental meaning lies within ideas/beliefs of predestination, which utilizes the concept of time through an understanding of a before and an after. Predestination assumes that the now (pre) is the present and that destiny is what occurs next. The pragmatic use of a Si Dios Quiere, however, surrenders events and human experiences to the will of divine forces (in this example, God). Nonetheless, it is possible that today people say it for many different reasons, some of which have nothing to do with religion or faith. These words could have melted themselves into their identity, their culture through social interactions and not through religious experiences.
My own experience with the expression alludes to the fact that it has managed to survive and to cross socio-cultural and geographical borders. Si Dios quiere has been a part of my life ever since I can remember, given that growing up in a Mexican Catholic family, I heard this expression numerous amounts of times. I really don’t know how much of it was habitual and/or how much did my family’s faith in God influence their use of it. What is clear to me, however, is that Si Dios quiere served as a reminder that although we had concrete plans in place, there was always room for the unexpected. My parents and relatives would state it when they would make plans to go out of town or plan an event that they desired to happen yet knowing that it might not happen. I never really thought about God when this was stated. I did not think of the literal translation of the expression - that there was a possibility that God might not want something to take place; instead, I simply thought about the possibility of an accident, an illness, cancellation of plans because of traffic, and any difficulties that might present themselves due to earthly mishaps rather than divine intervention.
In these past months that I have been living in La Unión, I have once again come to hear the same expression that my parents and relatives would often use – Si Dios Quiere. When I first heard it, I thought of it as being one of those culturally familiar expressions that I associate with being a Latina and having a Catholic background. However, one day I heard it at least six times from different people and it suddenly struck me that this expression must have more meaning here than what I initially gave it credit for. More so, I thought about the different setting and history of this place, as opposed to my own lifestyle and environment. Could it be that the statement had the exact same meaning despite such drastic differences in political planes and geographical locations? I then began to pay attention to when individuals were using it and realized that it is indiscriminately used for all sorts of plans and events such as visits, arrivals, departures, meal plans, work plans, celebrations, and any sort of anticipated activity. It seems that Si Dios Quiere always follows any stated plans.
If applied to a context where conflict is a fresh reality that continues to drink from the nearby rivers thus putting them in danger of emptying out —a place where conflict can always interrupt a day unexpectedly—then Si Dios Quiere can mean something different. Although, I believe that regardless of where you find yourself or what circumnutates surround you, this expression has much to do with the juxtaposition of the present and the unknown. This unknown, however, can mean death, torture, threats, and illness, all which lie in the limitless spectrum of possible human experiences. In the end, the key question in understanding the
implications behind a simple but meaningful Si Dios Quiere, might depend on who you are and where you live.
When the adults say it here in the community, there is an underlining tone to that whispers, “I don´t own my future¨. As Mrs. Rinades explained, “Nosotros no somos dueños de nuestras vidas, entonces no podemos asegurar cuando se puedan terminar (We do not own our lives, therefore, we can not determine when they will end).” Could this expression be used as a reminder and/or as an extension of their understanding that there are no guarantees of a tomorrow because they have seen that the larceny of time takes so much with it, including lives, plans, and tranquility? Even habitual events in the community, like harvesting cacao every morning, is expressed as “Si Dios Quiere mañana vamos a sacar un cacao.” They could be referring to the possibility of uninvited visits from armed actors who not only change the course of the day just with their mere presence, but who by their mere presence automatically put the entire community in a very vulnerable position. Or, they could be referring to bad weather, waking up sick, having to go finish other work instead, or any other less negative reason that could impede them from going out and about.
Given their history of multiple displacements, it seems that although community members are always hoping for the best, they have learned that hard times are always a possibility. According to the Peace Community, the military and the right-wing paramilitaries have entered the caserio (community houses) and forced everyone to displace numerous amount of times (in 1996--800 Campesinos displaced from the 27 veredas (community settlements); in 2002 people from La Unión displaced; in 2005 people from La Resbalosa, Mulatos, Las Nieves, and La Esperanza displaced due to a massacre; in 2005 the installation of a police post forces the Peace Community to displace and resettle in La Holandita). The massacres endured by the community members have also left them with a history of tragic memories (in 1977- 8 people in Mulatos & Resbalosa; 1996 - 4 people in San Jose; 1997 - 6 people in San Jose, in 1997- 3 people in San Jose; 2000 - 4 in San Jose; 2000 - 6 in La Union; 2005 - 8 Mulatos; 2005 - 6 in La Cristalina). These threats have followed the Peace Community since before and after their inauguration in 1997.
I wonder if the habitual use of this expression is a reflection of the confusion that living in a conflict zone can create. People are presented with the challenge of making sense of why so many atrocities have taken place against them for reasons that fall outside of their own control. When armed forces and illegal armed groups want to claim territory/victory, they often times dichotomize the conflict reducing it to an Us vs. Them issue. This was called to mind during George W. Bush’s post-911 address to Congress: “Either you are with us or with the terrorists”. A third category - innocent civilians caught in the middle of the struggle- is nullified from the analysis. The individuals living in the middle of this highly contested Urabá region have endured so much for almost half a century and they continue in their struggle to make room for the space they claim as their homeland. Why are they subjected to such a violent experience that has not ceased to exist? How can there be an explanation that can convince people that all the massacres, the displacements, and the violence are logical? And above all, how can anyone conceive that there is something fundamentally reasonable and right that could justify all of this suffering?
And who is to answer such questions? In a country like Colombia, overcome by conflict, it seems that no one is free from being affected in some form or another. Armed struggles almost always include unnecessary deaths, forced recruitment, suffering, losses, corruption, propaganda, financial incentives for the perpetration of violence, violations of all sorts and across all scales, and a threat and lack of respect for individual autonomy. Individuals who end up taking an active role in the armed struggle do not cease to be human- someone’s son/daughter, partner, or someone's relative- just because they pick up a weapon. They are the agents that are trapped in a world that continues to breed violence as a means to achieve a goal; a society where survival requires that you feed your hungry stomach with an ideology that you might not necessarily agree with and where laws force you to pick up a weapon if you are to be a patriotic citizen with access to your due rights. It is a society where violence constantly attacks and systematically eradicates “threatening” peace initiatives. It is another place in the world, where every time innocent blood is spilled, dignity evaporates, the value of a human life is destroyed, respect for others diminished, hate is magnified and violence weaves one more thread into the social fabric.
In the end, conflicts that use arms and violence as a means to declare victory and gain power and status tend to result in more victims than warriors. Those who are forced to kill anything that threatens their ideas are trained to identify each and every lethal enemy; all are condensed to the word victim—a word that can stretch to even include each and every one of us.
Maybe I am attempting to extrapolate Si Dios Quiere when it should just be interpreted for what it literally states: no further explanation required. Maybe I am making it a complicated matter when it could very well just be the left over of many years of living in yet another country that was forced to adopt Christianity. Maybe what people here mean by it is really not different than what anyone else would say in another place, in another time.
All in all, the unknown is still a powerful mystery that can forever fill our minds with dreams and hopes, with fears and worries, and with pride and honor. The gift of an imagination allows us to swim into the endless possibilities of an unknown next moment—of a tomorrow that arrives in the now. In our yesterdays we can find the occurred, the moments that were experienced with or without a preceding Si Dios quiere. I only hope that in seeing Colombia’s yesterday, people here can imagine a better tomorrow and that the unknown becomes a promising and peaceful one. Si Dios Quiere.
